Three Baseball Greats (and their cards)

Little Billy Ripken was the most unappreciated (and least talented?) member of the Ripken Baseball Dynasty. He played on the Orioles alongside his brother Cal and under the cruel tutelage of his dad, also Cal. They might have overshadowed him on the field, but his courage has been immortalized on his rookie card. Did either Cal ever pose with a shit-eating grin and “FUCK FACE” written on his baseball bat?
ripken fuck face

Jim Walewander was another shining star, swallowed up by the blackness of space before he could make baseball history. What he achieved for normal dudes that listen to college radio, however, will never be forgotten. At a time when Dead Milkmen fans hid in underground bunkers for fear of persecution, Walewander wasn’t ashamed to show who he really was. In an interview with ChinMusic, he said, “One of the things that made me sort of famous or heightened the notoriety at the time was just my naivete. The press would ask me what I did last night, and I would just tell them, ‘I went to see this band.’ Nowadays, the players just give these pat answers. I was just totally honest because I was stupid. I was trying to be myself. I wasn’t trying to be something macho.”
Walewander may have been stupid, and the association with underground music may have hurt his career, but he was a true pioneer. Could there have been Dennis Rodman without Jim Walewander? Possibly not.
walewander dead milkmen

Dock Ellis was always considered a colorful character, and not just by racists. Frequently at odds with Pirates management and his fellow teammates, Ellis always did what he had to do to win. Sometimes what he had to do was intentionally hit three batters in a row, loading the bases and scaring the hell out of the other team. Sometimes what he had to do was acid. Several hours after embarking on a journey to the center of his mind, Ellis showed up in San Diego to pitch the only no-hitter of his career. Fleer issued this limited edition baseball card to commemorate the event:
dock ellis

Tags: , , , , , ,

Posted by Mat on 30 Oct 2007 at 04:10 pm

Let’s All Change Derek Jeter’s Name To Derek Mexico


good ole’ Clutchy McClutch himself, Derek Jeter is a lot of things. for one, he’s totally clutch (as i have been told many times by Joe Morgan). he’s also a World Series winner many times over and the main reason i hate the Yankees. well now you can add one more fucking thing to his list of accomplishments/reasons i hate him. because he’s the guy who ruined Jessica Alba’s vagina. good ole’ Clutchty apparently was too clutch to wear a jimmy and dropped the H-Bomb on Jessica Alba. at least that’s what the celebrity gossip sites are all claiming. so much for that hot piece of ass.

and it probably doesn’t stop there, because that lame douche has been laying the lumber with some hot ass famous babes in the past. some other potential victims are Mariah Carey (she probably gave it to him in the first place), Gabrielle Union, that slut from MTV that Nick Lachey bones (Vanessa Minnillo), and most recently Jessica Biel….so yeah that means JT probably has that shit too. oh well, tainted love.

Tags: , , , ,

Posted by justin on 10 Aug 2007 at 03:05 pm